Repugnicans

Don't feel ashamed of your meltdown, Casimir. Trying to decipher the strange utterances of the Bush twins would be enough to crash anyone's operating system.

While at Long Beach Island I spent whatever time I had not on the beach or eating ice cream watching the convention, and scouring the channels for some commentary that went beyond two pundits barking talking points at one another. I was disappointed by Lehrer, largely due to the presence of David Brooks. Chris Matthews was amusing at times. I enjoy the rare occasions when he calls people on their bullshit, but it'd be really great if he put less bullshit on his show to begin with. My favorite coverage belonged to Charlie Rose as he talked to two young wonks whose names I never learned. Just smart talk, with nothing at stake personally for those involved, other than the elucidation of the entire process.

One point that was mentioned repeatedly on CNN, MSNBC and Fox (yes, I watched it) was the idea of the Republican Party as "big-tent" coalition, into which one could fold a wide variety of viewpoints, like peanut butter and chocolate chips into a delicious cookie of inclusiveness. This was, of course, portrayed in stark contrast to the Democratic Party, which should apparently feel guilty for its widespread internal agreement on matters of abortion rights and social issues. The democrats are clearly guilty of intolerance for other people's viewpoints. Perhaps they should model themselves after the Republicans, in which anyone is welcome to speak towards the continuance of their rule, while retaining the right to have their opinions on social issues (Giuliani, Schwarzenagger) ignored. Brilliant!

The last night of the convention was pretty well put together. I was actually moved by the movie that preceded the president's speech, until I realized that its main selling points were the timely use of a megaphone and a well thrown baseball. But really, we can't overstate what an amazing pitch that was, especially now that we know he was wearing body armor at the time. I'm being serious.

But we have got to put an end to this 87 billion dollar voted-for-before-I-voted-against bullshit. Isn't there some way for Kerry to put this to rest? Kerry voted yes to a version of the bill that paid for the 87 billion via a partial rollback of the Bush taxcuts. The Republicans voted against it before they voted for their own version which ultimately passed, despite the protest votes of Kerry and Edwards, who knew the thing would go through anyway. It seems Kerry is on the verge of getting mean, and I'm all for it. If this campaign has taught us anything, it's that you should just sling the shit, and the media will help it stick. By the way, I heard Cheney's "other priorities" during the Vietnam War included the writing of a specialty cookbook on eating babies.

By the way, have you heard about the hot new drinking game? Just take a swig anytime a member of the Bush administration mentions Osama Bin Laden's name. The great part about this game is that it's even safe for recovering alcoholics.

Bill Clinton, get well soon!