Always by The Hazzards

Memory Lane: Robot Edition

Speaking of A.I.



I told Stanley Kubrick he could use my idea for a robot movie as long as when he died in pre-production, he let me wrap things up.

Instead, the job went to Spielberg who added added wispy aliens and a contrived idea of what the best day ever spent between mother and pseudo-son looks like.

True story: I went back to A.I. to watch it a second time because I thought the problem with the film lay with me. There is a small but potent list of movies with which I have engaged in this transaction all ending with the same conclusion: it is not me.

The list goes:

A.I.
Oh Brother, Where Art Thou

I know there are a couple more but I can't remember them right now. I'll get back to you on that.

Returning to the memory lane theme, Journey of the Robot was my culminating junior film. Here are some things I think of when I watch it:

1) My mom gave me the refrigerator box that became the core of the robot costume.
2) I stayed up all night making that costume. It's not unusual for me to stay up late, working on movie things but I can't think of too many other times when the thing keep me up was craft-related. I'm not much of a carpenter or constructor. But I guess I'm not the worst glue-gun wielder you've ever met.
3) The robot has a mohawk when realized in human form. Much like Spielberg, what once seemed unique and specific now seems like lazy contrivance. Why would a robot dream of having a mohawk?
4) I like when Ted whispers in Ben's ear just before Ben strikes the robot. What does he say?
5) Abby is easily disappointed. Not a good trait in a scientist methinks.
6) I forget what the robot's heart is - something from a stereo I think. Maybe a blender?

Sundays at the Eagle

This is the Eagle Theater in Jackson Heights. They play Bollywood movies, often with English subtitles. It used to be a XXX theater, and I wish I could say that the physical space felt far removed from all that. I just tell myself that the seats have probably been replaced since then. The first time we went, we saw a film called 36 Chinatown. Here's the opening musical number:



The movie was crazy long, divided by an intermission, and the second half featured a detective whose comic business involved cigarettes that he could never get lit. I liked it so much I bought the soundtrack.

Yesterday, as part of Susan's birthday celebration, we returned to the Eagle Theater for a movie called Race. Here is the ersatz music video that plays underneath the closing credits... sort of my favorite part of these movies, even though the lights are usually on by that point:



The movie was crazy long, divided by an intermission, and the second half featured a detective whose comic business involved eating a different fruit every time you saw him.

What I love about these movies is the complete lack of irony. You can ask the Fisher-Stevens-on-Creatine main actor to unconvincingly fake playing an electric guitar, shirtless and rotating, and he'll say "just tell me where to stand." It's like an army of David Hasslehoffs, all on screen at once.

The real gem of the afternoon was this trailer for Love Story 2050, which will be released this summer:



It's like a mashup of Heartbeeps, A.I., and Mortal Kombat... with dancing! I AM SO THERE.

Memory Lane

The year: 1997
The place: Poughkeepsie, NY.
The movie: Bar-B-Q



In the original script, it somehow seemed essential that all the action took place on the day John Candy died.

The announcement was supposed to come over the radio at this all-day barbecue, freezing the various subplots while the characters dealt with their conflicting reactions to this oddly sad news.

Thankfully, my film professor - Ken "Stop the Bullshit" Robinson - convinced us it wasn't a strong narrative move.

Curtains

A mundane dexterity.

A Gurgling Brook

Technically, it's freshwater.

Subway Dancey Dance Dance

Dance with a capital D train.



The D train takes about ten minutes to go from Atlantic Ave. to Grand Street.

We got on at Atlantic - all 16 of us - and got right into the dance, taped from 4 different cameras during this one-time ride. Jessie Winograd - the lead dancer - choreographed the movement of the dancers and I drew up a couple basic moves for the passengers. I mostly just wanted to see the dancers moving around and freaking out either in front of oblivious passengers or through the spaces between the oblivious passengers.

The subway stopped at Dekalb where thankfully no one got on - though at 3AM we were optimistic that we wouldn't be disturbed in our travels. It stopped again in the tunnel right before the bridge and then lumbered on over the water. I'd stumbled upon this isolated public space one night coming home from a bar last year, when I lived for a short stretch on the Lower East Side.

I tried to recreate the scenario of that first discovery by staging this on a Saturday night. But heading to the train station with so many people in our party made me nervous that we'd be busted. It wasn't the case. People barely took notice of us waiting en masse for an empty subway car. At around 3am, one - mostly empty - showed up and we seized the chance. If you look on the left of screen there's a fellow sitting in blue who seems truly nonplussed by our efforts. But otherwise, we were able to dance the eff out of that subway car.

Fun Facts:

- If you look closely, two people are reading the last book in the Harry Potter series (one with a cover, one without).
- The door closing in the beginning is actually at Dekalb Ave.
- The music involves a thumb piano brought back from Uganda

Dance arranged by: Jessica Winograd

Shot by: Josh Weisbrot, Casimir Nozkowski, Ian Savage, Kayla Graffam

Music by: Greg Glassman

Passengers:

Simon Astor
Seth Berkowitz
Hannah Bos
Oliver Butler
Dan Engber
Kayla Graffam
Chris Hull
Mary Lawless
Sydney Maresca
Aram Rubenstein-Gillis
Susan Stewart